PAAR is here 24/7, at 1-866-END-RAPE
(1-866-363-7273). Interpreters available.
Help for Teens
Reducing Risk and Building Safe Relationships
- Think about what you want before you get into a sexual situation and communicate clearly. If you’re not sure what your date wants, ask.
- Be open and honest. Tell your date “yes” and clearly give consent to sexual activity you want to engage in.
- Be assertive. Your feelings are valid and you have the right to express them. Think about what you really want and say it.
- If your date doesn’t tell you what sexual behavior they want to engage in, stop and ask. Don’t continue until you hear a clear and confident “yes.”
- Respect “yes” and “no.” Stop if you hear “no” and have fun if you hear “yes.” As sexual intimacy increases, continue communicating with your date.
- Trust your instincts and feelings. If you feel uncomfortable, stop and try to get out of the situation or away from the person and to a public place.
- Be aware alcohol and drugs make you more vulnerable and sexual behavior risky. Be sexual when you and your date are sober.
- Make a scene, a few minutes of embarrassment is worth feeling safe.
- Avoid people who:
- Don’t listen to you
- Ignore personal space and boundaries
- Tell sexist jokes or make sexist comments
- Act jealous or possessive
- Pressure you sexually
Therapy is a huge step toward the healing process. PAAR staff is dedicated to helping you survive the trauma of sexual abuse and the impact on your life. Your therapy will be tailored to your specific needs. We can help you regain your sense of self-esteem and safety.
Signs of a healthy/positive relationship
A healthy/positive relationship depends on key elements that clearly express who we are and how we want to be treated in the relationship. It’s important that we learn to identify a healthy/positive relationship from a harmful one. The first step toward recognizing a healthy/positive relationship is being able to identify that there is:
- Mutual respect – Relationships are two-sided
- Trust – You can rely on your partner
- Consent – You and your partner should talk about sex
- Boundaries – Let your partner know what you are okay with
- Safety – You feel comfortable with each other
- Honesty – You can be who you are and express how you feel
- Good communication – Take time to listen, ask, and respond to each other
Promote safe and respectful behaviors:
- Take action when another adult acts inappropriately with a child or children, such as insisting on spending time alone with the child or not respecting the child’s boundaries.
- Become comfortable talking with children in your life about their bodies and development.
- Recognize questionable behaviors in adults, such as:
- Insisting on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling with or holding a child, even when the child resists.
- Repeatedly offering to babysit children for free.
- Discussing age-inappropriate topics with a child.
- Trying to spend time alone with children.
- Showing voyeuristic behaviors, such as watching children bathe or change into their pajamas.
Talk with children about respectful relationships, age-appropriate sexual development, sexual abuse prevention and healthy sexuality:
- Teach your child the correct names of all the different body parts.
- Let your child know he or she is in control of who touches his or her body, and how.
- Teach your child appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.
- Help your child establish personal space.