Section topics: Safe Dating, Safety Plan, Sexual Harassment, Healthy Relationships
Most victims know their attacker. Forced sexual activity is sexual assault, even if you have been or are sexually involved with your attacker. Simply, sex without permission is rape and a crime.
PAAR’s Guide to Safe Dating
- Go out in groups and meet in public places.
- Have a plan and tell your parents or other responsible adults about where you are going on a date, with whom and when you will be back.
- When going out with someone for the first time, double dating is a great idea!
- If your parents aren’t home, avoid giving that information to your date.
- It’s okay to be picky. You don’t have to go out with just anyone.
- Remember that you are special.
- Be honest about what you want and don’t want. You have a right to set limits. Don’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings or being polite.
- If someone is trying to force you to have sex, use the word RAPE. That can be shocking on a date. It's fairly common for date rapists to believe that what they are doing isn't rape. You can also lie...say that you have an STD, your friends will be right back, your parents are expecting you or everyone saw you together.
- Have your date meet your parents, and meet your date’s parents.
- It’s okay to walk away from an uncomfortable situation.
- Always carry enough change to make a telephone call and extra money for cab fare.
- Never drink alcohol or take other drugs on a date. Arrange for a safe ride home should your date begin drinking alcohol or taking drugs.
- You don’t owe anyone anything – especially sexual favors.
- Trust your instincts and be assertive. You have a right to say “no” or to say that you are expecting someone or have to make a phone call in order to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
On-Line Dating
Maintain your privacy. Avoid giving out your name, address, phone number or any private information, such as the name of your school and sport team names, to anyone you don't know. Be cautious about revealing any information that could identify you.
Never meet someone you've met on-line. There is no way to know who you are communicating with on-line. You might put yourself in danger by meeting them. If you think it's okay, talk with your parents or a trusted adult first. Never go to a meeting by yourself. REMEMBER...This could be a very dangerous situation. It is best to avoid meeting people you've been communicating with on-line.
Taking Care of Yourself & Your Friends ~ Reducing Risk
Most victims of sexual violence know the person who assaults them. And young women are at greatest risk. But there are things you can do to help keep you and your friends safe.
- Avoid parties where there is excessive alcohol or drug use. Studies show that 75% of date rapists and 55% of victims have been drinking or using drugs.
- If you’re going to a party, use the buddy system. It sounds corny, but it's a great way to protect each other. There is safety in numbers.
- When you’re leaving, don’t announce that you are walking home. Try to stay in groups.
- Be cautious about giving too much personal information to someone you just met.
- Avoid being alone in unknown or isolated places.
- Be aware of your surroundings and what is going on around you.
Date Rape Drugs 101
It’s not just about alcohol anymore. Known as “date rape” drugs, these drugs can create an amnesia effect, leaving victims unsure as to what, if anything, happened. Here is the scoop on the three most dangerous drugs out there.
Rohypnol (also known as "Roofies, Ruffies, La Roche, R2, Rib, Rope")
It’s colorless, odorless and tasteless. It causes drowsiness, confusion, amnesia, blackouts and muscle relaxation. After ingestion, it begins to affect the person within 30 minutes. The results peak after 2 hours. Add alcohol to the mix and the effect lasts 8-24 hours. .GHB (also known as "G, Easy Lay, Liquid X, Georgia Home Boy")
“G” is odorless and colorless. The drug is ideal for rapists since it gives a feeling of relaxation, sensuality and loss of inhibitions. Other effects: dizziness, nausea, amnesia, seizure like activity and coma. GHB takes effect within 15 minutes of consumption and lasts for 3-6 hours, longer with alcohol. Large doses can induce sleep within 5-10 minutes.Ketamine (also known as "K, Special K, Vitamin K, Kit Kat")
Known as Special K, ketamine causes hallucinations, vomiting, dizziness, flashbacks, increased heartrate, amnesia and dissociation (a feeling where the mind seems separated from the body). It is available in liquid, powder or pill form. Effects begin within 5-20 minutes and lasts for 2-8 hours.REMEMBER…
- Don’t drink out of an open container, like a punch bowl.
- Monitor behaviors of friends who seem more intoxicated than the amount of alcohol would indicate.
- Always get your own drink. Request that the drink be opened and poured in front of you.
- Never leave drinks or food unattended.
- Rapists are now lacing cigarettes with these drugs, so don't share cigarettes.
- Dispose of your drink if it tastes odd. (If you just leave it, someone else may drink it.)
Q&A
Q: If I am a minor and the person with whom I had sex was an adult, is that considered rape?
A: This is called statutory rape. Charges can be brought against a person who has sex with a “willing” minor (under the age of 16).Q: I feel guilty, angry and ashamed. Is this normal for a teenager after rape?
A: Reactions vary from person to person, but yes, your reactions are typical. It’s also common to feel isolated, afraid and sad. You may have flashbacks and nightmares as well.Q: Can PAAR still help me if I don’t want my parents to know?
A: Under Pennsylvania law, 14 and over is the age requirement for consent. However, if you are under 14, please call our office at 412.431.5665 for more information.For more cool info, check out PCAR's teen site....click here.
TTY: 412-431-2576
Address: 81 South 19th Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15203-1852 | Directions
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