Get the Facts about Safety

What to do:
  • Think about what you want before you get into a sexual situation and communicate clearly. If you’re not sure what your date wants, ask.
  • Be open and honest.  Tell your date “yes” and clearly give consent to sexual activity you want to engage in.
  • Be assertive.  Your feelings are valid and you have the right to express them.  Think about what you really want and say it.
  • If your date doesn’t tell you what sexual behavior they want to engage in, stop and ask.  Don’t continue until you hear a clear and confident “yes”. 
  • Respect “yes” and “no”.  Stop if you hear “no” and have fun if you hear “yes”.  As sexual intimacy increases, continue communicating with your date.

 

Study Guide
  • Trust your instincts and feelings.  If you feel uncomfortable, stop and try to get out of the situation or away from the person and to a public place. 
  • Be aware alcohol and drugs make you more vulnerable and sexual behavior risky.  Be sexual when you and your date are sober.
  • Make a scene, a few minutes of embarrassment is worth feeling safe.
  • Do your Homework

 

Test Time

This pact can be used to help understand and communicate relationship expectations. 

Dating
  • Should every night and weekend be spent with the person you are dating?
  • Who makes the decision in the relationship? Who decides where to go or what the plans are for a date?
  • Who pays? Should the guy be responsible for all expenses?
  • How much do you want you or your date to use alcohol or other drugs?
  • Are there times when it is okay for you or your date to use alcohol or other drugs?
  • What about weapons? Would you feel safe with a date that carried a weapon?

Other Relationships
  • Are you or your boy/girlfriend open to having friendships with other people?
  • Is it okay for you or your boy/girlfriend to have same sex friends?
  • Is it okay for you or your boy/girlfriend to have friends of the opposite sex?
  • Do you include each other in relationships that existed before you started dating?

Priorities
  • What qualities attract you?
  • What qualities are you looking for in a dating relationship?
  • What are the most important aspects of a dating relationship for you?
  • What characteristics are the MOST important for your boy/girlfriend to possess?

Sexual Rights
  • Are you or your boy/girlfriend able to say that you do or do not want to go further sexually in your relationship?
  • At what point may a person refuse to have a sexual relationship?
  • Who initiates sexual contact?
  • Who is responsible for birth control or protection from sexually transmitted infections?