Get the Facts about Healthy Relationships

In a healthy relationship:

• Consent for sexual behavior is always verbally given
• Your partner is a good listener. You feel free to say anything you want, and your thoughts are respected.
• Relationships are never perfect. Feeling angry, hurt and upset is normal, but feeling scared, humiliated or controlled isn't. You should feel loved and respected.
• You and your partner are equals.
• If you and your partner have a misunderstanding, both of you are able to work it out together. Communication is important.
• For more info, check out PCAR's teen site.

Study Guide

Warning signs of abusive relationships:

• Blame you for how they treat you or anything bad that happens.
• Excessive jealousy.
• Abuse others.
• Put you or others down and call others names.
• Always angry.
• Tries to isolate you from friends and family.
• Pressure you to be sexual.
• Physically rough with you.
• Ignore you, give silent treatment, hang up on you.
• Always checking where you are, who you’re with, where you’re going.
• Don’t listen or care about your opinions and feelings.
  (adapted from domestic abuse project (http://www.domesticabuseproject.)

Do your homework:

• Are you afraid to break up with your partner?
• Do you feel tied down, like you have to always check-in?
• Are you afraid to make decisions or bring up certain topics?
• Do you tell yourself if you just try harder everything will be fine?
• Are you depressed, unhappy or cry a lot?
• Is the emotional or physical abuse getting worse?

Test Time

Healthy for you?

• My partner criticizes how I look.         
• My partner has insulted me in front of others.              
• My partner has said I’m nothing without him/her.   
• My partner says I am fat/ugly/stupid.               
• My partner often walks out during a disagreement.                  
• My partner often refuses to show affection for me until I do what he/she wants.         
• My partner pressures me to engage in sexual activity even if I don’t want to.
• My partner becomes angry often.                    
• My partner doesn’t like my friends and tells me not to go out with them.                
• My partner says that my family doesn’t like him/her.              
• My partner says that no one else would want me.          
• My partner blames me for his/her violent behavior.       
• My partner abuses alcohol and/or drugs.               
• My partner threatens me.                       
• My partner often threatens to leave me.           
• My partner threatens to kill me or him/herself if I leave.     
• My partner tries to convince me that I’m crazy.                 
• My partner swears at me.                       

Healthy for your partner?

• I criticize how my partner looks.                  
• I insult my partner in front of others.                     
• I tell my partner he/she is nothing without me.                  
• I tell my partner he/she is fat/ugly/stupid.           
• I often leave during disagreements.                       
• I withhold affection from my partner until he/she does what I want.   
• I pressure my partner to engage in sexual activity.       
• I become angry often.                                
• I don’t like my partner’s friends and tell him/her not to go out with them.           
• I tell my partner that my family doesn’t like him/her.    
• I tell my partner that no one else would want him/her.   
• I blame my partner for my violent behavior.           
• I abuse alcohol and/or drugs.                           
• I threaten my partner.                             
• I often threaten to leave my partner.                   
• I threaten to kill myself or my partner if he/she leaves.     
• I tell my partner he/she is crazy.
• I swear at my partner.